Get Mad with Your Toddler

This is a niche story, but take the general idea and apply it to your life 😉.

We always get the same kind of extra-firm tofu, and my toddler loves to eat it cut up straight from the package (this is the niche part haha).

Anyway, it was out of stock so they substituted it with a less firm version. I packed his lunch box while he was sleeping and didn’t have a chance to let him know that it was different.

When we got into the car I handed him his lunch box and I heard him cry out, “it’s falling apart!!!!” from the back seat.

💛 I had two options:

1️⃣ Tell him it’s not a big deal:

This could look like, “It’s fine! It still tastes the same. Don’t worry about it!”.

2️⃣ Agree that it is a big deal:
This could look like, “I know!!! I was so surprised to see that too! They didn’t have our regular kind of tofu, so we had to get this one this time. I noticed how soft it was too!”.

✨ I picked the second option.

Why?

➡️ You know what can happen when toddlers (and adults!) don’t think we’re taking their problems seriously?!

They escalate it.

They get louder and more vocal and they reallyyy try to get across to us how BIG of a deal it is to them.

➡️ You know what happened when I met my toddlers emotions?

Nothing. He literally just said “ya, mama!” and started eating it. That was it!

💛 Now I know we’re always told to “meet their chaos with calm”. And that’s true! But it doesn’t mean to meet their chaos with a dismissive attitude. 

✨ The key to this example is that I’m showing him that on his team. I’m not meeting choas with chaos by starting to yell, “it’s fine!!! Get over it!!”!”.

I’m joining him like a teammate.

I’m *hearing* what he’s saying and validating his experience.